Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
