This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
