every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
