I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
