we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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