I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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