His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize