An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
