so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize