I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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