Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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