I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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