Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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