I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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