i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
