Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
