I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
