NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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