i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
