You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
