I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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