if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize