I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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