well I can't set my house on fire every night
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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