I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I've blown a few things in my day
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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