what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
high people should be assigned attendants
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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