MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
