Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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