it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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