he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Even my vagina gasped.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
