Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If that was your dad, he is hot
I looked at my own cervix.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
