I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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