Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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