Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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