i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just want to make out with him forever
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
