porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
