do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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