I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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