afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
