im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
