i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize