I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
