I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat