life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
