He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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