Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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