That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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