They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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