Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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