38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
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This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
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I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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