I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
