I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
