then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
