You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize