Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I cut my penus on the lid.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
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The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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