You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
My vagina just clenched in fear
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
