is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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