All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
